Who: Michael Simon, Addisu, Dan
Where: 12th and N—Specifically on the couch/standing huddled around the dining room table
What: NACHOS

We had nachos at Michael Simon’s in the early afternoon. They were truly amazing. The most amazing part, however, was that they seemed to come out of thin air. From inception to contemplation to creation, the execution was seamless. At one point, we were hungry. Two seconds later, the word nacho flew through (cyber)space, and in what seemed like even less time, we were standing around the corner of a table, shoving nachos in our mouths as if we were in an international nacho eating competition in a third world teetering fledgling democratic state and we had employed the Victor’s Group to tell us what to do next because our lives and the lives of our children were at stake and the advice they’d given us (because we had them on retainer for $7,000/minute) was to EAT AS MANY NACHOS AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!  SI SE PUEDE!!!!!!!

Not only were these nachos blink-of-an-eye fast, they were delicious. Gourmet ingredients appeared from nowhere—freshly grated manchego cheese, perfectly ripened avocados, sauteed onions and peppers, organic black beans, chipotle salsa, thinly sliced spinach (as a garnish, of course) and the biggest I-can’t-believe-you-just-have-this-on-hand-ready-to-go shocker, lowfat Greek yogurt—because who needs sour cream when they can just have a dollop of Greek yogurt! No idea what kind of person has all this sitting in their house BEFORE they go grocery shopping on Sunday afternoon.

Oh wait, I do know.

It’s the kind of person who is ready to make state-of-the-art Mexican food at any time of day or night. The kind of person who appreciates the finer things in life.  The kind of person who once sang a live on stage acoustic guitar duet with Debbie Friedman. The kind of person who has a piece of tuperware specifically designed to store leftover onion halves so that they don’t dry out or make your fridge smelly. The kind of person… who is still wearing a Brooks Brothers robe at 2:00 pm.

Who knows, it might have been a dream. It is honestly impossible to say if those nachos ever really existed. Was this all a dream?  The salsa stain on my skirt would seem to indicate that something happened between 2:04 and 2:17pm, but a Brooks Brothers robe tells no secrets.