• Who: Dan, Steve, James, Mary, Meredith 
• Where: Portsmouth, NH (en route to North Conway)
• What: The Peasant [defined on the menu as “2 separate piles: The first is egg white scrambled with Cuban “dirty” rice, corn and carrots, and the 2nd is fresh spinach mixed with feta and black beans”], chipotle honey toast, diet coke, James’ Moxie milkshake

The Friendly Toast is insane. It’s as if you took the contents of every garage sale you’d ever been to and combined them with the circus, FAO Schwartz and a Hoarder’s marathon and put them in a Chuck E Cheese. That is exactly what the Friendly Toast looks like. And that’s JUST when you walk in.  As they take you to a table in the back, the more immersed you are in crazy out-of-control tchotchkes that are probably banned in most developed countries and certainly all pre-schools. And the menu is just as crazy—it takes 10 minutes just to read through, and another 10 minutes to go back and internalize what you want—Almond Joy pancakes, the Redneck sandwich or an omelet called “Sklarmageddon.”

Not surprisingly, I learned that the Friendly Toast has created quite a reputation for itself, hinging on it’s eccentric decor and notoriously slow and hipstery waitstaff. In fact, every single person who I’ve talked to since Saturday who has heard of this place has said something along the lines of: ‘Oh, was your waiter a super hipster guy with dreads and a million tattoos who took forever to bring your food??” I know I kick the word hipster around quite a bit, but this goes beyond even my definition of the word.

Here is a quick glance at some highlights from the first page (1-40 of 244) of Yelp reviews:

“Hipsters? Check.
Energetic atmosphere? Check.
Vegan, vegetarian and gluten free options? Check.
Fun? Oh yes.” -Sean G. San Francisco

“AS ALWAYS: love the hipster/alternative kitch that is …. the Friendly Toast (your wobbly booths don’t deter me in the slightest).” -Marcy L. Waltham

“We bought a huge loaf of the cinnamon raisin bread to take home for only $4. I’m in love with this place, and I just found out there’s one here in MA… sweet! I’ve planned a hipster date for this weekend with brunch at the Kendall Friendly Toast and hours of shopping at the Garment District vintage/ thrift clothing store. Now, I just have to find my hipster jeans and my ironic plaid shirt!” -Theresa C. Cambridge

“The servers are also very unique, but very friendly! I think you have to be tattooed and pierced in multiple places to work here.” -Farrah K. Boston

“Funky atmosphere with a funky menu.  I came for breakfast with a group and was instantly intrigued by the extensive eclectic choices.  If you are stuffy and offended by tattooed individuals who look like they just rolled out of bed before coming to work, this may not be the place for you.  If you like to people watch and appreciate originality and yummy food, you will love it here.” -Michelle B. Albany

“In walks the hipsters in plaid pajamas.  Not the one she wore to bed the night before, but the ones she put on specifically to eat breakfast.  Her head, shaved, to not give a hint of any bed head.
Weapon of choice:  the huge pancake that is bigger than any face I have ever seen.
In walks, her grunge boyfriend covered in tattoos and some band shirt that probably no one has ever heard of.  He got it for $3 at the thrift store. Its vintage right?
Weapon of choice: scrambled eggs and bacon.” -Julie C. Boston

“The Room:  A somewhat macabre collection of the creepiest weirdest thrown away for a reason old home furnishings and fun house kitch you’ve ever seen.  Its weird.  
The People Who Eat There:  Interesting.  Different.  A Mix.  But who cares?  I cant for the life of me understand why so many people focused their reviews on this.” -Debbie W. New York

Well if all this isn’t a ringing endorsement, I don’t know what is. In all honesty, though, the reviews don’t really do it justice because this is the kind of place you really have to see to believe. Or if you can just imagine what TGI Fridays would be like if it were run by indie musicians and carneys instead of Bucknell alumni,that will work, too.  If nothing else, there was no better place to bring James Nicholson’s 30th birthday fest than here—because if someone is going to appreciate all this weirdness, it’s THAT GUY.